The Smasher
by Spidey3000
Summary: This is the story of a marty-stu who upstages the main characters. Wrote it a while ago, and didn't know what I was thinking. Don't read unless you're from the PPC, and need a target. Warning: Unnecessary Kirby-bashing, bit-characters, and Harry Potter.
1. It Begins

**Disclaimer: I own the OC of this story, but all SSB characters belong to their respective owners. This is just a fanfic, so don't whine about it. I also don't own "The Matrix Online" If you try to sue me, I'll see you in court.**

**I hope you enjoy my story, It's my first. Please R&R. It's a SSB fanfic, about a dude called spidey 3000, who has travelled to other worlds, and is now a legend on Earth, though noone except a choice few know who he really is. He is kind of a badass version of me, and has special abilities. If you don't quite understand what he is, he's kind of like a super hero: nobody knows how he got his powers, or his secret identity. I hope to use this OC in later stories, and maybe explain his origins. On with the story...**

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It takes guts to be a smasher; one man was about to learn that very well. That man was me, Spidey3000. On Earth you may have heard that name on SciFi investigates. You may have heard of the mysterious Spidey3000, the dude that kicks ass online, and kills terrorist, the rumors that I am a secret agent armed with top secret weapons. Well, I don't, though I do kick lots of terrorist ass, and I have some pretty cool powers (and weapons). However, this story is not about how my legend began (though that is a good story); it's about my trip to the Smash Mansion.

So, I guess I should start with the letter. I got it in the mail around the time the Spidey3000 legend was beginning, a week after a group of terrorists planning on attacking the Whitehouse was foiled by a mysterious man called Spidey3000. They had know idea how he had known about their plan. Since then I've never stumbled upon a terrorist meeting in "The Matrix Online", though since then I have decided to get good at multiple online videogames, which I used to suck at.

I was just looking through the mail, thinking about my girlfriend Quistis(I can use her name because she's from another world), when I noticed a letter that stood out. I felt compelled to drop all the other letters and read it, without even looking at the return address. There was nothing special about it in appearance, but I knew that I had to trust my instincts, because I knew that the compulsion that I felt must have meant that it was very important. So, I opened it, and was shocked, honored and confused.

It said:

"_Dear Mr. McPelley,_

_I know about your...secret online name. I won't mention it in this letter, since I don't see any since in ruining a man who seems to have the makings of a great hero. Don't worry, I won't blackmail you. In fact, I would like to make an offer. I would be honored if you would want to become a member of the Super Smash Bros. I understand if you don't think you're up to the task, being a smasher is more than just tournaments, and hanging out. It also requires a tremendous amount of courage to fight evil. I will also understand if you choose to go into denial that I even exist. However, I know about certain experiances you've had that have made you challenge you're very concept of reality, and been to places that you thought were fiction, so I hope you have opened have an open mind. My brother, Crazy, is saying that he's going to beat you as bad in real life as he did in the videogame, without my help. Not that that should influence your decision (he also said you were a sissy girl). Take a look at the lines at the bottom of the paper._

_Sincerly, Master Hand_

_ If you check this line, nothing will happen, and this letter will disapear tomarrow, so you can believe whatever you want. Crazy Hand will continue to call you a sissy girl._

_If you check this line, your journey to the Smash Mansion will begin. You won't even need to remail this letter._

Without a second though I checked the bottom line. I suddenly felt an undeniable urge to go outside. There was a limo waiting for me. Without thinking, I walked towards it. The door opened and I got inside. It was completely empty. The door closed on it's own, and suddently the car started moving.

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I spent the next few hours of wondering where the hell I was going, and wondering how the hell noone noticed a self-driving limosine. It seemed to have a computer controlling it, which was also programed to serve the passenger with food and fine wine. However, after the novelty wore off I got kind of boring. I fell asleep.

I woke up in some kind of cargo hold. There, right in front of me, was the first Smasher I met in my entire life: Fox McCloud. I could only stare. "So, your finally awake," he said "I guess we can start training you to become a Smasher." All I could do was nod and stare, until I realized something very important. "Crap, I forgot my weapons!" He just laughed. "Well, then I'm glad we put your stuff in the limo ahead of time." I suddenly felt very stupid for not noticing that my stuff was missing before I left. "You must have been pretty damned sure I was gonna sign the paper," was all I could say. He told me that we would arrive at the Smash Mansion in several hours. "Welcome to the Great Fox."

**Well, that was my first chapter, of my first story. In the next chapter, ass will be kicked. You will also find out about the special abilities I told you about. However, right now, you'll just have to live with the cliff-hanger.**


	2. Thrashing Wario

**Disclaimer: Oh my gosh! I don't believe it! I really don't own Super Smash Bros! This is news to me. I do own all OCs in this story though. I also don't own another character in this story that I will reveal later.**

**Thank you to the one person who reviewed, you know who you are, if you have any stories I'll return the favor. I hope you enjoy this one, it has some fighting in it. Yay for violence!!!**

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After being given a tour of the Great Fox, I learned that I was the only new Smasher. The Great Fox made many stops on the way to the Smash Mansion. The first stop confused me beyond belief. We had just gone through a huge freakin' hole in space, and we were still on Earth. After asking Fox about this he just laughed; he always seems to laugh when I have questions. "You think your version of Earth is the only version of Earth?" was all he said.

After landing, we were soon met with another self-driving limosine. If I hadn't been used to strange plot twists by this point, I would have fainted: the passenger was Harry Potter. Even for those of you who aren't fans, I really don't think I need to tell you what he looks like: he looks exactly like he does in the movies, okay? Appartantly, he seemed to recognize me too. Fox learned that quickly when he tried to introduce us.

Okay, I'm going to rush though the introductions here so we can get to the good stuff. We went to two other worlds on our way back to the Smash Mansion, and I met three more people, but I'd never heard of them, so it wasn't as strange. One of them was a...little person named Joe, with a small knife as his only weapon (or so I thought), and a big muscular guy that wasn't too smart named Lenny and another guy named George who was another midgit, I mean...little person, riding on his shoulders who was alot smarter. They would all become closer than brothers to me.

When we arrived at the Smash Mansion, our first challenge began. After we were introduced to all the Smashers, our test started. "To join the smashers, you will have to last five minutes in the simulator with one of the veteran smashers. Any questions?" Master Hand asked. "Will we get to choose our opponents?" asked Harry,"cause if we do I call Jigglypuff!" _Damn it, I was going to call Jigglypuff! Why does he get the easiest opponent?_ I thought. "No, and...no." That was the only question that was asked. He put all the Smashers' names in a hat and drew four pieces of paper. I got to fight Wario, and I don't like Wario, so that made me happy. I would tell you who all the other smashers fought, but I'd rather give you the details of my fight with Wario.

After collecting my sword, _Wasp_ (which I didn't name by the way), I headed to the simulator. The simulator is kind of like the Matrix, except that you don't have any abilities in the simulator that you don't have in real life, and the injuries aren't real either. One minute I was sitting in a chair, the next minute I was in the pokemon stadium. I saw Wario standing in front of me, smirking stupidly. "Too bad you have to fight the greatest Smasher in existence, or you might have made it," he said "as it is you're about to have your ass kicked in ways that you will never be able to counter, even if you knew my fighting style exactly which you..." I cut him of by saying "Do, in fact, which is really the only good thing that came out of playing 'WarioLand3'; that game sucked!" That got him pissed.

He did he his main attack in Wario Land 3 & 4: the shoulder charge attack. As he charged forward with more power that he could have had in his entire body, I started to feel the adrenaline run through my vains. There was no sound as the huge figure sped towards me with enough power to knock me out of the stadium. He was only 9 feet away, then 7feet, 5 feet, 3 feet, 1 foot, then..."BLIZZAGA!" Wario was frozen solid, and sliding backward rapidly. He almost slid off the edge of the arena, but the ice shattered, and he started to get up. I ran at him and started slashing him with _Wasp, _when he punched me in the face hard enough to knock me several feet away. "Wa-ha-ha-ha, I win, you lose oh yeah, I'm bad..." he was so excited that he didn't notice the bright light forming over his head, didn't realize that everything besides him seemed to go dark, and hadn't heard me say..."ULTIMA!". Boy did he feel the explosion though! He was crushed by the explosion, but Wario can't be killed that way, and instead turned into "Flat Wario". I wasted no time laughing at his predicament, and instead used the time to collect pokeballs (in the pokemon stadium they're pretty much lying around), and throw them at Wario. He recovered from the explosion quickly with an angry look on his face and charged. About this time the pokeballs started landing. Right when he was about to hit me he was... BURNED, ELECTROCUTED, THRASHED,SKYTHED, PUSHED, WHACKED, THROWN, PIMP-SLAPPED, SOAKED, ELECTROCUTED AGAIN, BLINDED, BLOWN AROUND, PIMPSLAPPED PSYCHICLY BY MEW,ADMINISTERED ATOMIC WEDGIES(mew again) and so on and so forth, until I was down to my last two pokeballs. I allowed mew to finish his final atomic wedgie, and drop Wario's battered form to the ground before throwing my last pokeballs at him. I didn't give him time to recover, or regenerate, though. The pokeball landed in front of him. He cowered in terror. Out came...magikarp?! He suddenly gained a boost of confidence as he kicked the weak pokemon away. "That was your last pokemon?" he said, laughing like an idiot. "Next to last," I said. He turned around to notice that there was a glowing Voltorb right behind him. The explosion blew him miles away. I was back in the chair again. I was now a Smasher.

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**That was a long chapter but I didn't want to make my fans waiting. Well, I guess I really only have one fan, but more will follow. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. You've only seen a small hint of what Spidey3000 can do. Next chapter you'll find out his name, and some of his past.**


	3. Harrymon

**I have decided to keep writing. The name of this chapter reflects the battle in it. Harry vs. Mewtwo is going to be the best fight so far in this story. I can see that I have 15 hardcore fans who hit the second chapter. I have one really hardcore fan that actually wrote a review for both. If you like this story or dislike it, tell me why.**

**disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or SSB, but I do own all OCs in this chapter. That's all gonna change with this lottery ticket though. They're about to announce it now...$#&! I still don't own it, oh well, on with the story.**

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Harry had the extreme misfortune of fighting against Mewtwo. He would definately need his wand for this one, and a miracle. He sat into his chair, as did Mewtwo. I watched the fight on a T.V screen that showed the battle from several angles at once. It was about the odds of a million to one, but I figured Harry had a chance if he hit mewtwo with his most detrimental spells, then ran in slashing with the with his sword, he might have a chance.

He pointed his wand at Mewtwo and yelled "Sectumsempra!" _That idiot! What the heck is that going to do? A few little cuts isn't going to bring down Mewtwo. Why not use Stupify? _Mewtwo didn't have his shield up, and the spell made a bloody gash on his face.

Mewtwo was pissed now. Harry soon learned the meaning of atomic wedgies, when he was telekineticly picked up by his underwear, lifted several feet in the air, lit on fire, and thrown back down. I would not have gotten up after that, but Harry had been hurt worse than that. He got up, brushed himself off, tucked the charred remains of his underwear back in, pulled out his wand, and yelled "Eat this!" He fired an unknown spell at Mewtwo, causing the king of pokemon to become covered in boils. Now Mewtwo was really pissed. It showed when he hit Harry with thunder, then got him wet using waterfall, then used Thunderbolt to really light him up.

It would take more than that to defeat the "boy who lived". He got up again, launched yet another spell at Mewtwo, this time however, it simply bounced off his shield without doing damage. Mewtwo used his psychic powers to beat Harry into the ground. He wasn't going to go down that easy.

Once again, he got up, but this time he didn't have a chance to attack. Mewtwo lashed out with his powers. Harry was lit on fire, frozen, electrocuted, and beaten until he stayed down. Harry was sent to the ground once again, burnt and beaten, his scar bleeding, his glasses laying at his broken at his feet, but still not ready to give up yet. No one expected him to get up after that. Mewtwo had all but won the battle. However, he still had his wand, and he still had one spell he had not tried. "Let's see you block the spell that made Voldemort crumble!" he yelled as he sat up. "Arvadak Adava" a beam of light came out of Harry's wand. Mewtwo tried to block it with his shield, but his shield simply disapeared. When the moment it hit Mewtwo, the fight was over. The screen went blank, and Harry and Mewtwo were taken out of their chair.

Harry Potter was now a smasher

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**The chapters are gonna get longer than that in the future, but this in this arc, I'm keepin' em short and sweet. I said you'd find out the real name of the character in this chapter so, I guess I'll just tell you now: it's Daniel McPelley. I didn't see any place to put it in the chapter, so I put it in the author's note. enjoy.**


	4. Whipping Kirbythen shooting him

**Did ya miss me? I have decided to continue this story, whether it is reviewed or not. Fans of Army of Darkness will also like this chapter. Ash won't show up, but there will be some ass kickin' action.**

**To the story, you all know that I don't own stuff.**

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Lenny and George got to gang up on Kirby for their fight. While this might seem highly unfair, the Ice Climbers did the same thing to me in the game, yet I always managed to kick their asses. By now you should know the drill with the chairs, so I'm not gonna explain that again. The selected stage was Dreamland, and everyone was ready to see how the two warriors would fight. Harry and I placed our bets; I couldn't believe he was stupid enough to pick Kirby. He couldn't believe I was crazy enough to pick someone that I hardly knew. I had a good reason to put my faith in them though: I knew their last names.

As the fight began, Kirby struck first...or sucked first (in both senses of the word). I kind of expected more from him; he could put up a pretty good fight in normal mode, but he was fighting much like he would in "so easy a blind retard on crack with no fingers or toes could beat it in under 10 seconds" mode. As George was sucked into Kirby's mouth, he pulled out a whip and lashed out at Kirby. The little pink bastard fell over in agony as a diagonal cut opened across his face. George charged at him, ruthlessly whipping him with blows that would have brought down Dracula in minutes.

Kirby was on the ground bleeding, and seemed dead, or at least dead in the simulator, which was the next best thing. George walked up to him to finish the job, when he was suddenly sucked into the little monster's mouth. This turned him into "Vampire Slayer Kirby". Kirby then spit George out, and attacked him with an exact replica of his own whip. The irony was overwhelming as Kirby beat the shit out of George in much the same fashion as George had done earlier. As Lenny's life seemed to be nearing it's end (in the simulator), a green burst of plasma knocked Kirby across the screen. Lenny, who had previously been letting George handle the situation, was now holding a ray gun and looked pissed. "My name is Lenny J. Williams, cousin to the George, and son of Ashley J. Williams, who mama says got hit by a train," I kind of felt sad when I heard that part, being an Army of Darkness fan. "I don't like it when people hurt my family," and with that he shot Kirby about 20 times, almost knocking the puffball from hell off the edge of the arena. It's a shame that Kirby could float, because he did just that, and landed on the edge of the cliff just as Lenny ran out of ammo.

Lenny threw the useless ray gun at Kirby, which he caught. Kirby tried to shoot Lenny, but there wasn't a shot left in the ray gun. By the time Kirby realized this, Lenny was only a foot away, wielding a huge battle axe that I hadn't realized he was carrying. He knocked Kirby of the cliff with a swing of his axe, and this time the pink wonder didn't even try to float back up, even though he could have. He also should have known that the ray gun was out of ammo. The fight ended, and the three fighters got out of their chairs and shook hands, while I wondered if I was completely wrong about Kirby. Well, whether Kirby threw the fight or not, Lenny J. Williams and George Belmont were now Smashers, and to this day Harry still owes me money!

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**I just know a certain fan is gonna be pissed about the Kirby bashing, but hey, Kirby might just turn out not to be as bad as I originally thought. What did ya think of Lenny and George? I was originally gonna make them brothers, but I decided cousins would be cooler. I intend to make Joe's fight short but sweet next chapter, then the high risk missions will start. Sorry Gooey for bashing your favorite smasher. R&R**


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